SPIRITUAL PARENTING

"This is now the third time that I am ready to come to visit you—and I will not make any demands on you. It is you I want, not your money. After all, children should not have to provide for their parents, but parents should provide for their children" (2 Corinthians 12:14 GNT)

Spiritual parenting, when practised rightly, promises to be lovely, but when it is practised wrongly, it can be deadly. 

What is spiritual parenting?

By 'spiritual parenting' I mean the concept of a church leader playing the role of a parent to Christians whom they deem to be their children. The concept emerged through the idea that a shepherd takes care of the sheep as though the sheep were his or her own children. 

Pastors are shepherds. They take care of God's flock and ensure their total well-being. Through this idea, bringing it down to the fact that Christians are persons but not animals, the pastor plays the role of a parent to Christians who are God's children.

Notice here that so far I have used spiritual parent instead of the common term, spiritual father. This is because, the New Testament does not teach that only males are supposed to lead the church or be responsible for God's children. Besides, in the Old Testament, a woman was a shepherd and took care of her father's sheep. 

"While he was still talking with them, Rachel came with her father’s sheep, for she was a shepherd (Genesis 29:9 NIV). 

Again, a woman was a prophet and led God's people, Israel.

"Now Deborah, a prophet, the wife of Lappidoth, was leading Israel at that time" (Judges 4:4 NIV). 

In the New Testament, a woman together with her husband, led a church that gathered together for worship and for fellowship in their home.

"The churches in the province of Asia send you greetings. Aquila and Priscilla greet you warmly in the Lord, and so does the church that meets at their house" (1 Corinthians 16:19 NIV).

Last but not least, Paul says to the church, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 'Honor your father and mother'—which is the first commandment with a promise" (Ephesians 6:1‭-‬2 NIV). 

Whether biological or spiritual, scripture says that you must obey both your father and mother in accordance with the will of the Lord. Today, church may be led and shepherded by either a male or female, and the Lord is happy about it. 

The emphasis that we have placed on spiritual father but not on spiritual mother is not biblical but cultural. Neither Jesus Christ nor the apostles expounded a doctrine against women leading and teaching Christians. If there is any doctrine in the body of Christ today that is against women leading and teaching Christians, then it is a hermeneutical error rather than a biblical command. 

Many cultures, especially in Africa and Asia, do not entertain or embrace the idea of a woman leading and teaching a group that compromises both men and women. This kind of cultural norm has influenced the patriarchal system of church leadership especially in Africa and Asia. 

Spiritual Parenthood

It seems Paul makes reference to spiritual parenthood when he says, "For even if you have ten thousand guardians in your Christian life, you have only one father. For in your life in union with Christ Jesus I have become your father by bringing the Good News to you" (1 Corinthians 4:15 GNT).

According to Paul, since he was the first to bring the gospel to the Christians at Corinth, and upon hearing it through his life and preaching they became born again, and received the new life in Christ, he became a father (parent) to them through the gospel. 

A spiritual parent then, would mean originator of a spiritual awakening. 

Spiritual parent does not refer to just any spiritual teacher. The person through whom you became awake to the spiritual life in Christ Jesus or awake to a spiritual cause becomes your spiritual parent. 

Is the term 'spiritual father' appropriate in light of the Bible?

I strongly believe that in light of God's word according to Hebrews 12:5-10, the term 'spiritual father' belongs exclusively to God, who is the Father of spirits, in other words, our spiritual father. 

No human authority is worthy of this accolade, since no human can and does give the Holy Spirit. You preach to them and teach them about Christ, while the Holy Spirit himself convicts your hearers and when they believe, he regenerates them upon their faith. 

Moreover, God supplies everything that you require to take care of his children: wisdom, knowledge, understanding, power, strength, the miraculous, other spiritual gifts, even money. So then, you cannot be the Christian's spiritual father. 

Other related terms

Father in the Lord

Instead of spiritual father, some Christians refer to their spiritual authority as father in the Lord. This often derives from the view that he is the person whom the Lord has delegated to have direct oversight of them and to take responsibility for their spiritual growth and personal development. 

Father in the ministry

Other Christians refer to their spiritual authority as father in the ministry. This also derives from the view that he is the person whom they hold to be the originator or initiator of their spiritual awakening, training and empowerment leading to the fulfilment of their spiritual causes. 

As an emerging leader, it is imperative then to ascertain who your father in the Lord or father in the ministry actually is.

In my personal opinion, that minister of the Lord who led you to Christ or into a particular spiritual cause and assumes responsibility for your spiritual growth as well as personal development, is your father in the Lord, to whom you owe the allegiance of calling father. 

So you may have numerous spiritual teachers and mentors but there is only one person in your Christian journey to whom you owe the allegiance of calling your parent (father or mother) in the Lord since he/she must have given rise to your spiritual awakening and/or spiritual cause and often is responsible for your total well-being in Christ. 

#Truth Haven