FOUNDATION OF A GLORIOUS MARRIAGE

"That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh." (Genesis 2:24 NIV)

When you encounter this verse (I do not mean read but encounter), your eyes will open to see that there is a foundation based upon which God originally instituted and ordained marriage. This foundation remains up to today. There is no building without a foundation. Some have solid foundation, others have weak foundation. A wise builder erects his (her) building upon a solid foundation. Marriage, like a building, is erected upon a foundation. A wise couple erect their marriage upon the solid foundation that is clearly revealed in Scripture. 

What is marriage?

In this message, I provide a working definition of marriage as the union between an adult male and an adult female who have agreed to spend their lives together as husband and wife.

A glorious marriage

A glorious marriage is marriage that satisfies God's heart. What kind of marriage satisfies God's heart? 

We know from Scripture that in the beginning God created the first couple male and female. So then, marriage is for persons who accept themselves as either male or female. Any person who does not accept himself or herself as either male or female is not supposed to be married. Again, marriage is between a male and a female. God is not pleased with marriage that is solemnized between persons of the same sex. That kind of ceremony is not marriage. It is something else that has not yet been named. 

Marriage is a union

When a man and a woman agree to spend their lives together as husband and wife, though physically they remain two individuals each with a separate physical body, the two become one flesh. "One flesh" is not to be taken literally. They become one flesh in the sense of composite oneness—a union of two distinct persons yet indivisible into separate, independent parts. The body has many parts but none of the parts can exist independently. The human body illustrates the union of a man and a woman who have agreed to spend their lives together as husband and wife. 

One flesh means one in spirit and in mind. Marriage begins from a spiritual union where the husband and wife are put together by God and blessed by God to serve his purposes together. So they are no longer two separate individuals but one flesh when God is the unifier. In a marriage that satisfies God's heart, both husband and wife look to one and the same God and Father of all. 

Additionally, one flesh means unity of souls. The soul is the seat of the will and emotion. A man and a woman who have agreed to spend their lives together as husband and wife become one soul. Since there is mutual love, mutual understanding and unity of purpose, they do not look to their personal interests but the interests of the other. When one is happy, the other is happy, and when one is sad, the other is sad. When one is present, the other feels complete, but when one is absent, the other feels empty. Thus, they are soul mates. 

Finally, one flesh means one body. A man and a woman share their bodies and become one body when they make love to each other. By making love, the couple demonstrate that their bodies belong to each other, and serve each other's interests, thus, fulfilling God's purpose for marriage. 

Sex is ordained by God, and so it is good. "A loving doe, a graceful deer— may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love."(Pro 5:19 NIV). You honour God when you have sex with your lawfully wedded wife or husband, but you disregard and dishonour God when you have sex with someone who is not your lawfully wedded wife or husband. "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral." (Heb 13:4 NIV)

Foundation of a glorious marriage

Foundation is built by putting one precious stone upon another. The following are precious stones that make a solid foundation for a glorious marriage:

1. Both must be adults 

Marriage is between a male adult and a female adult. Adulthood is not measured by age or years of existence. Adulthood is the stage in life where one is responsible for himself or herself. It is the stage where one is able to make his or her own decisions in life and accept the consequences of their own decisions. When someone is making life decisions for you, then you are not responsible for yourself. You are not an adult, and so, it is wrong to marry. 

Adulthood entails being responsible for yourself. This includes making decisions as to how to put food on your table. If you cannot feed yourself all by yourself, how can you feed your spouse? Marrying a person who does not make his or her own decisions in life is a mammoth mistake. Worse, marrying a person who is not able to feed himself or herself. Your marriage is doomed to end fatally. 

2. Mutual love

One of the foundation stones of a glorious marriage is love. What at all is love, and what does love look like? God is love, and love looks like Christ. Outside God and Christ, no human knows and understands love. Bible teaches that God is love, and he demonstrated his love by giving his Son Jesus Christ to die for our salvation. Therefore, divine love is the only love by which you can lay down your life for your spouse by serving his or her interests other than your own. Divine love is sacrificial and unconditional. It persistently looks to the interests and well-being of the other, not only of yourself. This divine love must be mutual. When one is full of divine love and the other is short of it, the marriage will not stand the evil day. 

3. Mutual understanding

Marriage is a union between an adult male and an adult female who have agreed to spend their lives together as husband and wife. The unity comes as a result of the agreement reached based on each person's knowledge and wisdom. Knowledge and wisdom help you to discover each other's strengths and weaknesses and to decide whether or not to spend your lives together. The person you marry is a reflection of your knowledge and wisdom. Marital love must be based upon decision but not affection. 

4. Unity of purpose

God unites a man and a woman as husband and wife not to serve their personal purposes but to serve his divine purposes together. Before you marry your partner, agree on what purposes you are going to serve together as husband and wife joined together by God. Divided purposes is the root-cause of many divorces in Christian marriages today. 

5. Willingness and readiness to spend your lives together

In marriage, you agree to spend your lives together. Your life here means your spirit, soul and body; your gains and possessions. In spirit, you worship and serve one and the same God. In mind, you think of fulfilling the same divine purposes together. In soul, you decide together and agree on one thing before you take an action. You share your happiness or sad moments together. Then in body, you make love to each other and share your bodies with each other. You also share your gains and possessions. All the properties that you owned individually become shared properties after marriage. You share all your properties as a couple, soul mates and bedmates. This is a more reason why it is indispensable for a couple to have mutual love for each other. 

When you establish your marriage upon this solid foundation, your marriage promises to remain glorious, fully satisfying God's heart and providing example for others. 

#Verity Haven