SPIRITUAL PARENTING IN THE AFRICAN CONTEXT

 "This is now the third time that I am ready to come to visit you—and I will not make any demands on you. It is you I want, not your money. After all, children should not have to provide for their parents, but parents should provide for their children" (2 Corinthians 12:14 GNT)

Introduction

The typical African culture maintains an uncommon reverence for the elderly. Reverence for the elderly permeates all institutions in the African society beginning from the family to the state. Even among twins, the elder is accorded more respect than the younger. So, in Africa, it is cultural as it is biblical for senior officers in the church to be accorded much reverence by members of the church. Seniority, undoubtedly, courts so much respect in church and society. 

The typical African culture considers it almost an abomination for the younger to attempt to, or actually teach, instruct, command, advise, admonish, correct, or rebuke the elder. This is because, the elder is perceived to be more experienced in life, hence, wiser than the younger. The African generation cherishes wisdom above everything else, hence, the elder, deemed to have more experience and to possess greater wisdom, is often given greater recognition than the younger. 

The elderly are considered to be as wise and as infallible as the gods, therefore, it is inappropriate for the younger to address the mistakes of the elder, whether politely or impolitely. The African society inculcates a sense of fear for the elderly in the younger generation. Even when an elderly person goes wrong, the matter is not addressed for fear of invoking curses upon oneself. The point here is that in almost all African societies, the people deify their elders.  

This cultural deification of elders has permeated the spiritual family of God—the church. Some senior officers or elders in the churches in Africa particularly, feel a sense of supremacy over everyone else. They are free to correct, rebuke, chastise, even devilize the saints, but they themselves, being at the acme of the hierarchy, are untouchable. 

God's word teaches us to be submissive to authority, and to have reverence for those who bear the rule over us as guardians who shall render account to the Lord, so that they may discharge their duties wholeheartedly (Heb 13:17). At the same time, God's word teaches us to be submissive to one another (Eph 5:21), and to humbly serve one another since we are all servants of the Lord and shall equally be judged by him (1Pe 5:5). Authority in the church, therefore, is not about being served by all in the church but serving one another in the church. Church leadership is servant leadership, unlike that of the world where those who bear the rule exercise abusive authority over those they rule. 

God's word gives the spiritual youth authority to lead the church and to address the mistakes of elders in the church in a polite and respectful manner, treating them as they would treat their own father at home. The young pastor Timothy versus the church at Ephesus is a perfect example of this case (1Tim 5:1). 

God's word also gives a junior officer in the church authority to address the mistakes of a senior officer in the church in a polite and respectful manner, as in the case of Nathan, the palace prophet versus David, the king of Israel (2Sam 12:1-14). The case of Paul versus Peter also offers a perfect example. Paul was a fresher and younger apostle whilst Peter was a senior and older apostle, but when Peter distorted the truth of the gospel by discriminating against the gentile Christians in Antioch, Paul corrected him politely and respectfully (Gal 2:11-20). The church is governed by the word of God. God's word is our primary source of wisdom and guidance for the church but not the cultures around us. Bible teaches us not to live by the cultures around us but to be transformed through a total reformation of how we think (Rom 12:2).

Common problems of spiritual parenting in Africa

1. In Africa, we deify fathers.

We regard fathers as gods, we treat them as worthy of worship. Without this kind of treatment you might never breakthrough. Therefore, followership in the context of Africa is about fawning fathers for one's breakthrough. 

2.  In Africa, fathers are overly authoritative. 

More often than not, fathers in Africa are overly authoritative, and take decisions according to their whims and caprices under the guise of being led by the Spirit. 

3. In Africa, fathers are absolutely untouchable, in the sense that when they go wrong, nobody in the church addresses their mistakes. 

The usual attack that you get is, "Who are you to address the mistake of your father?" A father needs not apologize to his son or daughter even when he offends them bitterly. The African spiritual community interprets addressing the errors of a father as invoking curses upon oneself. This implies truncation of one's ministry, and eventually, untimely death.

4. In Africa, fathers are above their own standards. 

They set standards that they themselves are not able to meet.  

5. In Africa, sons and daughters lay up for their fathers and not the other way round. 

But in 2Cor 12:14, Paul, who is held to be the greatest father in the charismatic circles particularly, said that children ought not to lay up for their parents but parents for their children. You dare not invite a father to minister in your church and not honour him big time. This implies truncation of your ministry. 

6. In Africa, followership can be a deadly trap.

You may get trapped in a spiritual cause from which you may never be able to escape amicably. In Africa, many churches start spiritually but end up being cultic in nature. 

Solution to spiritual blindness and the tendency to be trapped in a cult

Spiritual blindness refers to the condition of being spiritually blind to your own errors, and to the errors of your own denomination and its leaders. Spiritual blindness can occur anywhere. To overcome spiritual blindness and the tendency to be trapped in a cult, do the following:

•Pray continually for grace to remain open-minded. 

•Rely on the Holy Spirit to open your mind and flood your heart with light to be able to remain open-minded. 

•Be open-minded to allow light to seep through your mind in case you are getting trapped. 

Changing lives and society through God's word!